The sun filters through the trees. The dappled shade keeping me cool as I lay on the sun bed.
Pain and discomfort slowly ebbing away as the pain killers kick in. My eyes shut and I listen to the birds singing. A small breeze shakes the shrubs and trees and cools my over heating body.
Before Christmas I contracted a virus which nearly finished me Mrs Sox and I were told I had days to live. The family came to my bedside and said nice things.
My bed in the hospital was in a quarantine room. They wanted the bed for someone else, there were no places at care homes or at any hospice. They wanted me out.
I told them I wanted to go home and within 24hours I had been taken home by ambulance and given a care package.
My bodies reaction to the (not covid19 but cant tell me what) virus was massive swelling this closed off my already constricted bowel and it bust. I had sepsis and a ruptured sigmoid colon.
The cancer is slowly rapping its way around my bowel and is taking over my liver. My cancer specialist seems to have given up on me. It hasn’t helped that chemo wards have been virtually shut because of the Covid 19 virus and the trials have all been stopped. As of this moment there is nothing that the NHS can do for me.
I am also struggling with post virus problems (to many to list). It isn’t great but I am still here and i am not ready to go yet.
A fact that is worth pondering is more people will die from cancer this year than are predicted to die from Covid19. When this threat is over, perhaps the government will put as much effort into cancer as they have with this virus………
All my clothes are / have gone to the cancer research shop in Cardiff. I hope this small contribution will help someone in the future to find cures. Also the size 8 to 9 shoes will help girls with slightly larger feet.
My tvchix account was closed ages ago. I still dont know wether to delete this blog or to leave it for the bots to read. For the moment its still here.
I still think i have been lucky in life. Its been a struggle from growing up in a slum to owning my own home but the struggle helps you appreciate things more. I have achieved lots of things and if i had lived another few years would have had a comfortable retirement. Its been a dual existence The American Indians call it 2spirits. It took years to come to terms with who and what I was. That struggle with the mental side of things, being called names in the street and run ins with homophobes made me stronger. Later in life rather than going out and being the only one I found like minded girls to go out with and talk to. These girls gave me more strength. The age of the internet definitely helped.
Life at Sox cottage has been a wonderful experience.Virtually all the veg we eat comes from the garden. I would have loved to have kept bees but time has caught up with me. This year Mrs Sox and my son has managed to plant most things up in the garden with direction from me. I have made a little book for them to refer to in the future which i hope will be of some help.
Thank you to those that have become friends and those that have looked at my blog. Thank you for your comments.
This is my last blog.
Goodbye and thanks for all the fish.