Life the universe and a back door problem

I’m not sure when it started to happen, the first foot on the slippery slope to being an adult. Maybe it was the training shoes specifically for gardening.

I used to be a rebel. I had fast loud motorbikes, I play a mean blues riff or two on the guitar (even though I do say so myself). I am edgy, I tell people straight how things are, I wear short dresses and heels……….

I am now not just gardening, I am growing my own vegetables and will start bee keeping next year. I am looking at comfortable shoes and a quiet holiday……relaxing?????

But the biggest thing that has made me feel my age is health issues. Going to the local doctor’s surgery and being told I am being referred to a specialist because after all the tests they haven’t got a clue what might be causing my problem.

I suppose some people would pay good money for what happened with my initial visit to the doctor. I was asked if I didn’t mind seeing a student doctor that would be overseen by an experienced doctor. I don’t mind things like that, people have to start somewhere. So I explain my symptoms to the young slim pretty blonde girl.  She types all my answers into the computer then says that she will ask the qualified doctor to talk to me.

The qualified doctor comes in. An older lady about my age, but still good looking and blonde. She could be the young student’s mother.

As a male, doctors and health people seem fascinated by a man of my age’s prostate and given my problem the doctor wanted to examine it.

So the scene is set, two very nice looking girls looking at my lilly-white butt, the older one with her finger up my arse saying it’s nice and smooth (she meant my prostate).


I have not felt much like putting on a frock recently. A cold house and my back door problem have made me a little down. But light is at the end of the tunnel, new heating system and a log burner will be installed by the end of the week, and maybe the specialist will have an idea of how to sort me out.



5 thoughts on “Life the universe and a back door problem

  1. Before any medical exam, check three things:

    1. Good underwear, not the tatty comfy ones.
    2. The warmth of the examiner’s hands
    3. Thus is the key one: the examiner’s hand/finger size.


    I hope you’re feeling much more relaxed after your ordeal. BTW, the new hobbies don’t seem old, just middle class 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

  2. I seem to have missed this post. A smooth P is at least something or is the backdoor problem another? Don’t want to get to close .. well not there anyway. The clinical scientist in me would be interested if I may. Have you any feedback to the tests? They usually take ages.
    A little P story for you.
    After leaving work I needed to find a new Urologist not far from home. In August I turned up at the local clinic and asked for an appointment. Being a possible new patient I was ready for anything. It was going to be either a ‘sorry’ no go, or ‘yes no problem’ but earliest in 6 months. I waited with baited breath. Well it was the latter. Oh well I thought at least I’m in, even if it’s early next year.
    I put on a face and sighed and took the note with the date. I was just about to turn and leave when the receptionist looked at her computer screen and said wait a moment. After a while she looked up and said someone had just cancelled their appointment. Okay, that didn’t sound bad, maybe it will be a little earlier. She smiled and as she handed me a new note said ‘How about tomorrow morning at ten?’.
    I was buff! If I had left a couple of minutes earlier I would still have 2 months to go!


    1. Abigale. Without being to graphic. all the tests that have been done have come back negative. If this final test/consultation comes back as negative then I will officialy have IBS.


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