My cup of tea was half empty and there was one biscuit left.

Earlier I had come home from work and decided that it was time to put on a dress and a bit of lippy so my soul could return back to the type of equilibrium only another t girl would understand ( I was going to use the phrase ‘back to normal’ but what is normal?).

So stood there in my jumper dress and heels, I was making myself a cup of tea and on opening the cupboard I noticed a full unopened packet of custard creams. I’ll just have one I thought. But I was kidding myself.

One biscuit stared back at me, it mocked, it pouted, how could I resist, the last one? I couldn’t just put one back in the cupboard, on its own.

The chocolate Hob Nob is a king amongst biscuits but the custard cream, well, that is junky territory and I have succumbed. I know I have a problem. I have searched the internet but can’t find help.

The few crumbs left in the packaging are now looking at me. I could scoop them up with the packet and put them in the bin. That would be a waste. The contents stared back from the coffee table and I got down on my knees. I puckered up my lips and sucked the leftovers from the packet like a cocaine addict getting their fix. The remains of the pack had lipstick smeared all over it. Oh no. I had to clean up. I couldn’t look like this when Mrs Sox came back. How could I explain my addiction to her when there is cake left in the kitchen? This could be a marriage breaker. I clear the coffee table and sort out my lippy. I take a deep breath and try and be ………. Normal.

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