I could hear the traffic in the distance and the soft breathing of my partner beside me. Feeling snug wrapped in my duvet, there was no work to go to. I could have a lie in and be what I wanted to be today.
My legs were smooth and my dress hung on the back of the bedroom door. The heels of choice were still in their box on the dressing table. Lacy knickers and matching bra had been placed on top ready for me to climb into after my morning shower.
All week I had been looking forward to the time that I could feel the buzz that only a frock can give a guy.
I would be taking my time getting ready today. A bit of tan on my legs, full make up, a new pair of heels and a nice dress. The hair would be blond, my earnings long and sparkly.
I turned over and cuddled into my warm and soft wife. She didn’t sign up for a girly husband all those years ago but she would put up with me today.
I got out of bed and went to the bathroom. I caught site of someone in the mirror, old greying guy he was. That’s the fella who has been my outer shell most my life. It was the sudden crash back to reality that I have felt so many times before.
I went back to the bedroom and put on my 10 year old rock t shirt worn out jeans and wondered along to the kitchen to make us both a cup of tea. On the way I saw myself in the mirror again.
After breakfast I got on with the usually things I cut wood for the fire cleaned the cars and gave the ceiling in the bathroom a lick of paint.
The crash remained with me all day and the frock remained on its hook.
Ive been there. Sometimes facing that man in the mirror can be so difficult, and so off putting. Youll get past it though, and next time youll take that dress off its hook and look amazing wearing it!
Beautifully written btw. 🙂
LikeLike
Sometimes I do get past it. Sometimes I don’t. Sometimes I wish I could be halfway, but its all or nothing at the moment.
LikeLike
It’s great being trans – except when it isn’t. :-\ I hope you’re over your crash. They’re a right pain and can, seemingly, hit when you least expect them.
LikeLike
It is like that sometimes. But only sometimes, thank goodness. Sue x
LikeLike